Becoming Myself
by Rynna
Summary: Narcissa Black gets a chance to think about who she really wants to be after an encounter with Lily Evans


"Fancy seeing you here." the voice was lilting, and quite amused. Narcissa jumped about a foot in the air, turning to face the one who had called her out. Red hair gave it away. It would have to be her. Of anyone else, of course it was the model Gryffindor.

"Restricted section, Black? Honestly? Can't you think of something less cliche to do with your time?" Evans' voice was a bit amused, but also resigned. The green eyes gave nothing away, and Narcissa bit back a curse.

"I don't have time for your games, Evans. Some of us actually have Potions homework to do. Unlike you, I'm assuming. Too busy helping your lapdog Potter with his homework?" Cissa smirked, her right eyebrow arching.

Quiet laughter filled the room, not so much as to bring down the wrath of Pince on them, but enough to let Narcissa know she was off the mark by a mile. Come to think of it, she did remember Evans cursing Potter last week. He looked like a jellyfish by the time she was done. She hoped he oozed his way to the hospital wing and thought about his actions, but she wasn't counting on it. That boy was too arrogant for his own good.

"As a matter of fact, if you must know, Potter is on my 'Hex on sight' list. He's an arrogant prat, and I hope he finds some other girl to torture. Evan sighed, sitting next to Narcissa by the window, cracking it open just a bit. Snowflakes drifted in on the breeze, and Narcissa eyed Lil-Evans. Evans. Evans, curse it…With distaste.

"Are you trying to freeze to death? By all means, go right ahead. I won't stop you. It's your funeral after all. I'd love to see how Potter would react to your freezing to death in the library next to a Slytherin. Probably say I cursed you or something."

"Are you bloody thick, or what?" Evans hissed. "I've told you no less than five times now that I do. Not. Care. What Potter thinks of me. Or you. Or anyone. I don't even LIKE boys. He's wasting his time!" her fists were clenched, Narcissa noted, with the smaller part of her brain that hadn't disengaged at the fact that Evans had just come out of the closet to a Slytherin. She must have been mental. Narcissa could ruin her with that information.

However, now that she had it, Cissa was too shocked to even begin plotting the social annihilation of one Lilian Evans.

"You….What? Ugh. Is that a Muggle thing? You fancy other girls? Honestly?" Cissa had heard of such a thing, of course, but it just…Wasn't _done _in her social circle. You found a respectable pureblood boy, and that was that. You didn't really have a choice.

"A Muggle thing? I'll have you know, Black, that there are more out there than you think. I bet some of your precious Slytherins are in the closet as we speak. Can you honestly say you've never even thought about kissing another girl? Or thought one was pretty?"

"Never. Not once. I have no desire to even traipse down a path full of…I don't know…Depravity?"

"Hah!" before Cissa could think twice, her collar had been grabbed, the hem tearing with an audible sound in the near silence of the library. She couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything besides feel the fact that Lily bloody Evans was ravaging her mouth like she was the last thing on Earth. This was…Interesting. No. Exhilarating. Yes. That. This was nothing like kissing Malfoy, whose lips were sterile and flat against her own. Perfunctory. Evans' kiss was like fire. Her lips were full and soft, yielding to Narcissa's own as she returned the pressure on her lips hesitantly. Just as suddenly as it began, it was over.

"My point has been proven." the redheaded girl smirked.

"Lily…Evans…What the bloody hell was that about?"

More laughter like she was missing out on something. It was infuriating. Cissa glared at the other girl, and Evans had the common sense to blush.

"I…It was just a theory. Anyway…I must be off. I hope you find what you were looking for. I'll…See you around?" she bit her lip. She bit her bloody lip like she was _nervous _about hearing the answer.

"You will. Tomorrow. At 1:00. Transfiguration." stop that. The lip thing. Stop it right now. Cissa didn't know why, but it made her want to kiss the other girl. Badly.

"I was hoping….Oh, forget it."

"This won't end well, you know. Do you forget who I am?" Cissa felt like she needed to remind this crazy version of Lily Evans that she was Narcissa Black, a Slytherin, betrothed to the Malfoy heir. Obviously sometime between the beginning of this idiotic conversation and now, she had forgotten.

"I know who you are. I was hoping you knew, too. I guess not. I'll see you tomorrow, Narcissa." disappointment colored the words.

"I…I…Lily!" it was the first time she'd ever called her by her name.

The other girl turned around, her eyes betraying her closed expression. There was a glimmer of hope in those disconcertingly green eyes.

"After dinner. Meet me in the abandoned classroom in the Charms corridor. And…I'll see you in class."

It wasn't a trick of the light, or the fact that she'd gone insane. Evans' answering smile was like the Gods themselves had smiled upon her. Maybe she would get to figure out who she was, after all. Before she threw her life away becoming someone else. Maybe, just maybe…She didn't have to become what was expected of her, after all.


End file.
